As if I don’t have enough annoying people to deal with.
Not only do I have to contend, like everybody else, with unwanted telephone solicitors, junk mail delivered by the mailman, spam delivered in my online inbox, hackers who infiltrate my email address, unknown folks who want to friend me on Facebook, Twitter followers who are creeps, but now I must read the crap written by lying anonymous commenters on my blog.
I know the other annoyances don’t seem fair to everyone else. But this one in particular rankles me. I became a blogger because I’m a writer at heart and because I had been through a horrific near-death fight with cancer -- with the emphasis on “been through." I came out the other side of this nightmarish experience full of opinions on a number of things: life, sickness, disability, the medical profession, to name a few. To use a trite totally overused phrase, I came from a good place when I decided to enter the blogosphere.
And while it is still physically difficult for me to post a blog more than once a month (just sitting and typing is extremely taxing on my battered body), I do it for two reasons: I enjoy writing and I truly believe my observations can help people navigate through illness and disability and aging or at least offer a new perspective on such things.
I don’t enjoy sitting (in pain) and reading such tripe as:
Thanks in support of sharing such a fastidious opinion, article is fastidious, thats why i have read it entirely
I can’t just ignore these comments. Because I moderate them. Which means any Tom, Dick, or Harry can’t post on my blogsite without me reading through their comments and approving them.
While you have the option of using your name or posting as Anonymous, anything you write goes into my email account so I can review what you’ve said and decide to publish it on my website or not. Some of my friends do post as Anonymous, usually because they can’t figure out how to post using their real names. (Hey, when you write a blog about aging and disability, not every reader is technologically adept.)
This system is designed to keep out the blog spam from appearing on my website.
And it does.
But it also means I must open up each email that says “Anonymous” has commented on my blog. And I must read through their words, then tag the comment as spam, alerting Google, my blog adminstrator, not to publish it. Then I must delete it to get it out of my email box. Did I mention that it hurts me to sit up at the computer? I get several of these fake comments a day. But I only average one or two blog posts a month. I’m spending more time on these intrusions into my world than I am actually writing what I want to write.
When I first started receiving such comments a few months ago, I found them mildly amusing.
Kind of like when you get a particularly outrageous spam asking you to buy the latest penis enhancement device or contact a Nigerian dude to cash in millions of dollars.
Some comments just cracked me up by their poor grammar and spelling. I imagined chimpanzees writing in a room full of computers when I read this one.
I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
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And there was this gem:
What i do not realize is in fact how you are no longer really much more well-liked
than you might be now. You're so intelligent. You understand therefore significantly on the subject of this matter, made me personally believe it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men are not involved unless it's
something to do with Girl gaga! Your individual stuffs outstanding.
Always maintain it up!
Some have farfetched or unintelligible compliments like “Fantastic goods from you, man” and “I am gonna watch out for brussels.” Some sound believable like “Wonderful post. Keep up the great writing.”
But it’s easy to tell the real compliments from the fake ones by the telltale final line of each comment, directing me to visit a blog or website. These can be on any number of subjects, like nail fungus photos, loans, the stock market, love spells that work immediately, breast enlargement Bangkok, shoes for nurses and some foreign words I can’t translate.
And although I’ve written more than 45 blog posts since I went online last year, all these comments are about two of my pieces: the one I wrote about how it was impossible to get accessible tickets to see Bruce Springsteen and one in which I gave my Handi Awards to places with accommodations that actually made my disabled life a little easier.
I'm not sure how the spammers latched on to these two, but they have bombarded me with fake comments. While they are all flattering, some offer constructive criticism: one said my headline was “a little vanilla”, another suggested I put photos or videos on my site (I do have photos) and another suggested I add a “donate” button to my site.
Many claim they learned about my blog from a family member or friend, which I think is supposed to make their comments more believable. One sounded like the type of vague sentences you find in fortune cookies:
Truly when someone doesn't be aware of after that its up to other visitors that they will assist, so here it happens.
Thanks for sharing.
I got another that reminded me of chimpanzees in a room on amphetamines:
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That’s not a typo. It ends there and it asked me to check out a link about “today stock market.”
No, thank you. I’ve got more emails to read. Someone who wants to remain anonymous has posted a comment on my blog.